The Cave

24 Sep

Simpsons Chalkboard

List of (all) the Simpsons’ chalkboard gags (the 1st one being “I will not waste chalk” :-)

Some of the classics:

  • I will not waste chalk
  • I am not a 32 year old woman (Nancy Cartwright, Bart’s voice, was at the time :-)
  • I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
  • I will not cut corners (on 3 lines, the remainder all “ditto”)
  • I will not carve gods
  • I will not teach others to fly
  • My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
  • I am not delightfully saucy
  • The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with “Hail Satan”
  • I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball
  • I will not use abbrev
  • Cursive writing does not mean what I think it means
  • A fire drill does not demand a fire
  • I will not demand what I’m worth (This is a reference to the voice cast’s recent demands for higher pay.)
  • No one cares what my definition of “is” is
  • I have not been there nor done that
  • I won’t not use no double negatives (3 negatives, so the sentence is true)
  • Substitute teachers are not scabs
  • Non-flammable is not a challenge
  • I was not touched “there” by an angel
  • I will not plant subliminal messagores (aired two days before the 2000 U.S. presidential election)
  • SpongeBob is not a contraceptive
  • Global Warming did not eat my homework
  • There is no such thing as an iPoddy
  • The capital of Montana is not “Hannah”
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