24 Sep
Simpsons Chalkboard
List of (all) the Simpsons’ chalkboard gags (the 1st one being “I will not waste chalk” 
Some of the classics:
- I will not waste chalk
- I am not a 32 year old woman (Nancy Cartwright, Bart’s voice, was at the time
- I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
- I will not cut corners (on 3 lines, the remainder all “ditto”)
- I will not carve gods
- I will not teach others to fly
- My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
- I am not delightfully saucy
- The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with “Hail Satan”
- I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball
- I will not use abbrev
- Cursive writing does not mean what I think it means
- A fire drill does not demand a fire
- I will not demand what I’m worth (This is a reference to the voice cast’s recent demands for higher pay.)
- No one cares what my definition of “is” is
- I have not been there nor done that
- I won’t not use no double negatives (3 negatives, so the sentence is true)
- Substitute teachers are not scabs
- Non-flammable is not a challenge
- I was not touched “there” by an angel
- I will not plant subliminal messagores (aired two days before the 2000 U.S. presidential election)
- SpongeBob is not a contraceptive
- Global Warming did not eat my homework
- There is no such thing as an iPoddy
- The capital of Montana is not “Hannah”
